You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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