Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Randomize
