I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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