Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
