I wanna passion pit in your ass
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
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