Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
