My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
