I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
