Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I wish there were birth control emojis
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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