these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
