do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
barbara walters just said penis...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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