Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
