so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
