You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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