Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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