I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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