I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
