do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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