we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
