Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
