I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
