let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize