Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
