some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
