oh god the rape fog is back!
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
