I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
That was an excessively violent trivia night
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
