so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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