i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
