Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
