tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
