he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
