Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
