I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
