she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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