Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
