I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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