great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
