Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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