did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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