All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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