Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
