The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
