You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
