Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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