the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
