so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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