I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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