cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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