i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
