i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Pooping to opera.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
