that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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