i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I stole a fireplace last night.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
