Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
My Higher Power is John Stamos
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
