My underwear smells like fireworks.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I enjoy the company of your penis
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
