i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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